


Cupid's Got A Shotgun

by littlemisslarge



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisslarge/pseuds/littlemisslarge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has finally decided he wants to put the Hawkeye moves on Natasha.</p><p>His efforts appear to be hampered by the romantically challenged Darcy Lewis.</p><p>Well, he can fix that. He's like Cupid. With a shotgun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Want to get a coffee sometime?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I've been massively enamoured with all the high quality fic I've been reading here, so I got the urge to contribute.
> 
> First ever fic, and sadly un-beta'd.
> 
> But I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Title comes from 'Cupid's got a shotgun' by Carrie Underwood. Which somehow made me think of one Agent Barton.
> 
> All characters are the property of Marvel. I'm just taking them out for a spin.

The first time Natasha and Darcy met, Clint knew he was in trouble. After the Chitauri attack, the Avengers re-grouped, which included bringing Dr Foster and her assistant into the fold. Director Fury stated that it was for ‘National Security’ – Tony was sure it was to ensure Thor’s continuing assistance. As for Clint, he was pretty sure it was equal parts to lower the concentration of testosterone flying around Avengers Tower and to stop him from putting his awesome moves on the Black Widow. But he was probably biased in that opinion...

The morning after Darcy and Jane moved into the Tower, Clint was wrestling with the shiny coffee machine in the kitchen. After his ‘cognitive re-set’, he had realised pretty quickly that what the Widow had done for him went far beyond the realms of regular friendship – he’d seen the fear in her eyes when he had come around, the tense set of her shoulders when she poked and prodded at him, checking to see if he was, well, him. He hated that. He hated that he had, in some way, caused that. So he had made a choice. He was going to let Nat know just how he felt. Starting with a cup of her favourite caffeinated, whipped cream covered, ridiculously flavoured and unpronounceable early morning beverage. As soon as he had figured out how to work the damn machine!

‘Ya know, I’m pretty sure that glaring at it won’t get it to work.’

Clint glanced at the short brunette in the plastic rimmed glasses who had perched on the bar stool across the counter from him. He raised an eyebrow at her as he took in her wild curls and oversized sweater.

She raised her hands in supplication and laughed ‘But your glare is kinda scary, so it might work for ya.’

At that point Clint tipped a smirk in her direction.

‘So I’m Darcy Lewis. Dr Foster’s...’

‘Lab assistant. I know who you are Miss Lewis.’

‘Oh! Well, cool, like, whatever.’ Darcy eyed him speculatively. ‘But you’ve seen me in my PJs now, so I’m pretty certain you can just call me Darcy.’ She hopped off her stool and strolled around the breakfast bar to join Clint in glaring at the coffee machine. She hip checked him out of the way and set about grinding coffee beans from the canister at the side, and filling a metal jug with milk from the fridge.

‘So what do I call you Mr ‘I’ll never get a job in Starbucks’?’

Clint had retreated to a safe distance on a bar stool and was watching in fascination as Darcy masterfully wrangled the chrome and copper beast into steaming milk and spouting forth delicious smelling coffee.

‘Clint Barton.’

‘Oh wow! You’re Hawkeye? Well, I guess being a superhero master marksman means you don’t normally have to make your own coffee. In which case, ta daaaa!’

Darcy placed a steaming latte down in front of him with a flourish. Clint raised on eyebrow at her again.

‘Seriously dude, if the wind changes, you’re going to get stuck that way.’

Clint laughed again. He liked this tiny bundle of energy that was invading the kitchen. He took a sip of the latte and moaned his approval.

‘Good huh?’

Clint nodded.

‘Don’t suppose you can do one of these but with foam and syrup and cream on top? You know, the full works?’

Darcy smiled. ‘Sure thing, William Tell. I can totally use my powers for good, but I wouldn’t have guessed you to be a sugar and spice and all things nice coffee drinker.’ She turned back to the machine to make another cup of coffee, waving syrup bottles under his nose to get him to pick one, and hunting out the can of squirty cream.

‘Actually it’s not for me, it’s for...’

‘BARTON!’

‘Nat!’ Clint turned around, startled, to see the red head marching towards him with a face like thunder.

‘You had better not be in your PJs, bird-brain. You promised me coffee. I am barely human and Starbucks is calling my name.’

Just as it was looking like Tasha was going to grab him by his t-shirt collar and drag him away, Darcy placed a tall mug of something steaming and giving off a delicious aroma of hazelnut onto the counter next to him.

‘Actually, this is for you.... I think...’ Darcy glanced at Clint looking for confirmation. He gave a miniscule nod and slid the cup gingerly over towards Natasha. He knew she was a bit of a bear before her morning fix, and heaven help anyone who stood in her way.

Natasha’s eyes narrowed as she took in Darcy behind the counter, nervously pushing her glasses up her nose and dragging her sweater sleeves over her hands. Her glance flickered to Clint who was looking distinctly sheepish.

‘I had a few issues working the machine...’

Nat picked up the mug and breathed in the steam. Her eyelids fluttered down as she took a sip. Clint watched and swallowed convulsively at the contented sigh that escaped her lips. He turned away to hide the flush that was creeping up his cheeks, only to meet Darcy’s grin. He’d barely known her fifteen minutes, but he could read it loud and clear. And that message was ‘Clint Barton is totally whipped’. 

‘Oh my God. I think I love you.’

Clint’s eyes widened in surprise at that and turned to grin at Natasha. Only to find that she had moved around the counter and was eyeing Darcy with a great deal of interest. Darcy bounced on the balls of her feet and extended her hand.

‘Darcy Lewis, scientist wrangler, lab nerd and wielder of the taser that took down the God of Thunder.’

Natasha shook her hand.

‘Natasha Romanov, very particular skill set, former assistant to Tony Stark and personally responsible for knocking sense back into Barton.’

‘Cool. Nice to meet you. So how’s the coffee?’

‘So good I cannot even express my thanks. How are you finding the Tower?’

And just like that Darcy and Nat were friends. As they turned and strolled out of the kitchen Clint could only watch on in complete bemusement. This was not going to end well.


	2. Someday my Prince will come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy - a one woman romance disaster zone.
> 
> Clint's paying attention.
> 
> All characters are the property of Marvel. I'm just taking them out for a spin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from Disney.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Clint was doing his usual thing and hanging out in ventilation ducts. He’d been doing a lot of that in the last four weeks. With no emergent world threats, and SHIELD wanting to keep an eye on his recovery after being body-snatched, Clint was on a strict programme of RnR. And he hated every minute of it.

Under normal circumstances, he’d have hung out with Nat during an enforced rest period. They would have watched movies and played Wii Sports and sparred in the gym. But Nat had been somewhat distracted by her new BFF, one Darcy Lewis.

Clint just didn’t get it. Nat was serious and guarded and Russian. Darcy was... well... like the Energizer Bunny but with a really dirty mouth. Which was why he was in the ventilation shafts. Again.

Darcy and Nat had a standing afternoon coffee date in the kitchen. And Clint was gathering intel. He refused to call it spying.

From his vantage point in the ceiling he could just see the top of Darcy’s head as she leaned her elbows on the counter, shoulders hunched.

‘And the next thing I know, he’s launched himself at me across the couch and tried to stick his tongue down my throat!’

Clint heard Nat’s distinctive low laugh.

‘So what did you do?’

‘Well, let’s just say the shades he’s wearing today aren’t so much functional as they are camouflage for the shiner I gave him...’

Nat laughed a bit louder as she leaned forward into Clint’s limited field of vision and patted her friend’s hand.

‘You really are not having much luck with the dating game lately are you?’

Clint rolled his eyes and gingerly extricated a note book from his vest pocket. This regular meeting of minds was normally accompanied by Darcy filling Nat in on her latest dating fiasco. So far there had been Jared, from the cyber division (his idea of a date was going to an arcade to play video games), Agent Davis (who expected Darcy to pay half the bill when he had selected the most expensive restaurant in a 20 block radius for their evening out, and ordered the most pricey thing on the menu), Mike from RnD (who spent the evening talking to her chest) and Rick the lab tech. Clint had been taking notes.

‘I don’t get it Nat. I just seem to attract the wrong kind of guy. All they see is the rocking bod or the lab coat or the fact that I live in the Tower with you guys, and they draw the wrong conclusion. Fine, I may swear like a trooper, and have the pop culture knowledge to out-nerd most people, but I am a girl. With, you know, feelings and shit... and a brain...’

‘Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places. Or maybe you just have to wait for one of the good ones to come to you.’

Darcy smiled at Natasha. ‘Yeah, but I’m never going to find a Prince unless I’m prepared to kiss a few frogs, right...?’

‘But does kissing the frogs make you happy?’

Darcy shrugged and straightened up. ‘The possibility of it makes me happy. The reality is somewhat lacking. But anyways, enough of Darcy mope-ville. What about you and Robin Hood?’

‘Clint? We’re partners. We work together.’

‘And you beat him round the head to bring him back to his senses when he went all Zombie-badass... If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.’

‘Clint doesn’t know what a woman needs. Let alone what I need. Hell, I don’t even think I know what I need half the time... And anyway...’

‘Yeah, yeah, I know. Love is for children. But maybe you should give him a chance to find out what you need? Maybe find out together?’

Nat shook her head. ‘I don’t think he’s ready for my particular brand of crazy. Plus I’m enjoying hanging out with you right now. I get my vicarious romantic thrills through you. Much safer and less confusing.’

Darcy affected a comical bow as Natasha cleared their coffee cups away and loaded them into the dishwasher.

‘I live to serve. But just so you know, once Prince Charming comes along, you may just have to share me!’

‘I can deal with that.’

And with that they passed out of Clint’s line of sight and earshot. But they had left him with a very interesting idea...

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Clint sat down at his laptop with his notebook by his side. The personal files for all SHIELD and Stark Industries employees were at his fingertips. He just had to do a little digging.

He glanced over his notes and pulled up the profiles for the failed dates that Darcy had had in the last few weeks. All late 20s to early 30s. At least 5’9’’. Clean cut. No specific build, hair or eye colour. Clint put a few filters into the personnel files and pulled up the records for all the single guys meeting those parameters. Still a couple of hundred to choose from. SHIELD and SI were big organisations.

Time to get serious. Clint added a geography filter to those currently working in and around New York. That dropped the search pool a bit more. Still too many. OK, what next...

He flicked through is notes. It was pretty clear that Darcy was an independent kind of woman, so Clint made a judgement call, and filtered out any employee who still lived with their parents, or in shared digs with more than one other guy in the same age bracket. He was pretty certain that Darcy would want to be engaging in some crazy naked sex, but not be judged and objectified by roommates or disapproving elders. Clint knew she was loud at the best of times, so who knew what she’d be like when she was... excited. Best not to risk it.

Less than 50 files to go. Clint started pulling up pictures. And that’s when he heard it, the sweet dulcet tones of Carrie Underwood (he was a country music fan, so what?) coming over his stereo.

‘He gave up on arrows, a long, long time ago. Turns out I’m too hard to hit so he put away his bow.’

Clint laughed as he began to whittle down the candidates to a short list of ten and started singing along with the chorus.

‘Cupid’s got a shotgun, aiming at my heart. I’ve been dodging bullets, I’ve been hiding in the dark.  
Sawn off double barrel, trigger happy as can be. Cupid’s got a shotgun and he’s pointing it at me.’

Happy with his final list, he printed it off and tucked it in a cardboard sleeve with some other paperwork.

‘If I’m going to show Nat I can give a woman what she needs, I’m going to find you what you need, Darcy Lewis.’ He picked up the Nerf gun on his desk and fired at the target on his wall. Bullseye!

‘And I never miss.’


	3. Nobody expects that Spanish Inquisition!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So who are the lucky bachelors? Clint needs a bit more intel.
> 
> Chapter title is from Monty Python.
> 
> All characters are the property of Marvel. I'm just taking them out for a spin.

Clint crossed his arms and glared at the nine men seated around the conference table.

‘Special project. Need to know basis. The answers you provide to these questionnaires are to deem your suitability for an upcoming mission. So be honest, gentlemen. Screw this up, and you will regret it. Any questions?’

A stony silence fell around the table as the assorted men weighed each other up. There were a handful of agents, one of the guys from legal services and one or two members from the public relations team. Pretty mixed bag really, but all fitting the basic requirements to date Darcy Lewis. Not that they knew that, of course.

‘You have one hour, so make it count. Once you’re done, questionnaires get sealed in the envelope and leave them in this folder. I will be back to collect them, but believe me, I’ll be keeping an eye on all of you, so no goofing off.’

Clint make slow eye contact with each man around the table, noting which ones met his steady gaze and those who suddenly took a strong interest in the wood surface. Darcy was going to need someone with balls of steel, this was a good test.

There were nods around the table as everyone reached for a pen and started writing furiously. Clint hopped up on to sideboard in the conference room and hauled himself up into the airduct, much to everyone’s surprise. He dangled his head back out – they all still had their heads down, hard at work. Good, Clint had bachelor number 10 to hunt down.

________________________________________________________________

Steve shook his head at Clint, completely bemused. 

‘You want me to what?’

‘Just answer a few questions about your ideal woman and perfect date.’

‘Clint, if this is to set me up on one of those internet dating sites, I’d really rather you didn’t. Tony kind of did that already, and the ladies just seemed a little...’

Steve ran a hand through his blonde hair in agitation as he searched for a right, but not overly insulting, description.

‘Slutty? Randy? Weird? Easy?’

‘I was going to say a little focused on my physique.’

‘Oh. That. Well, this is not about internet dating Cap. This is... in the service of a friend...’

Steve looked a Clint closely. He had fought side by side with this man. He didn’t always like his methods but he trusted him with his life. Steve sat down on one of the large sofas in the Avengers common room and rested his elbows on his knees.

‘What friend?’

Clint glared at him. He knew that, in order to get Captain America on board, he had to play it straight up and honest. Which meant revealing more about himself than he really wanted to. Playing Cupid was hard! But of all the shortlist that Clint had put together of potential dates for Darcy, Steve was the one that Clint felt ticked all of the boxes. He shook his head in defeat.

‘Here’s the deal Cap. I will disclose all if you a) answer a few questions first and b) promise not to laugh. Deal?’

Steve blinked once, then slowly nodded. He’d never seen Hawkeye quite so serious off the battlefield. And now he was looking very focused, clipboard and pencil in hand.

‘Fire away.’

‘So Steve, first date with a lady. What would you do?’

________________________________________________________________

45 minutes later and Steve felt completely drained of any inclination towards romance. But he had answered honestly and with as little blushing and stammering as he could muster. Clint finally seemed to be winding down.

‘OK, last question. If I asked you to go on a date with a girl, would you go?’

Steve finally felt that they were getting to the heart of the matter. ‘Who’s the girl, Clint?’

Clint put down the clipboard and rubbed his hands over his face. Crunch time.

‘Darcy Lewis...’

‘D-Darcy? As in Dr Foster’s assistant, Darcy?’

Steve’s sudden stammer made Clint look him closely in the face. Oh yeah, there was the blush. All the way to the tips of his ears.

‘Uh huh.’

‘But she’s a.... She could have... I mean... Why would you...?’

Clint raised an eyebrow and let Steve take a deep breath before he answered.

‘Darcy’s a complete knock out. And all she seems to attract are jerks and losers. She deserves a nice guy who will appreciate her for her wit and sharp mind as well as her big...’ Clint gestured his hands towards his chest and watched as Steve’s eyes went from confused to horrified to more than a tad angry. ‘Heart. Her big heart. Nothing untoward there...’

Steve relaxed back into his seat. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about asking Darcy out for an evening. She was like a movie-star from his own time, straight off the nose-cone of a bomber, all curves and red lips and expressive eyes. And with her fierce defence of her friends and how she took care of Jane and the other ‘Science Bros’ down in the labs, well, he often wondered what it would be like to be the focus of all that energy. But Steve wasn’t naive, not by a long shot.

‘I get the why... But what’s in it for you Barton?’

Clint shuffled in his seat a little. 

‘Nat.’

‘Getting Darcy a date will affect Agent Romanov?’

‘No, getting Darcy a date will show Nat that I can do something nice for someone, and that I do actually understand what women want. Plus helping Darcy find Mr Right instead of Mr Right-Now might help restore Nat’s faith in human relationships.’

‘And you want to date Nat.’

It was a statement, not a question. The science of human interaction had not changed THAT much in 70 years that Steve Rogers could not identify a man in love. Hell, he’d been there with Peggy Carter. He had moved on since he’d been out of the ice, but he still understood the feeling. 

Clint nodded quietly. 

‘So Cap, you going to help me?’

‘Ask me the question again, Barton.’ 

Clint picked up his clipboard and pen with alacrity.

‘If I asked you to go on a date with a girl, would you go?’

Steve smiled gently.

‘If that girl were Darcy Lewis, I would be there in a heartbeat.’

________________________________________________________________

Clint wandered back in to the conference room. All the other potential dates had long since cleared out and left their answer sheets in a neat stack on the side. Clint added Steve’s answers to the pile and headed to his room for a little light reading. But he was pretty sure that none would come close to Steve. 

Clint laughed. Even without him being the Star Spangled Man with a Plan, Rogers was a romantic and a gentleman. And that was exactly what Darcy seemed to be looking for.


	4. All I wanted was a white knight with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the first date!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and the kudos. All will become clear, because Darcy is one smart cookie, in chapter 5!
> 
> As always, all characters are the property of Marvel. I'm just taking them out for a spin.

The coffee machine in the kitchen seemed to be the focal point for all of Darcy’s important conversations lately. Her initial encounter with Clint Barton had led to a very interesting friendship with Natasha. And through working with Jane she had gotten to know Bruce and Tony pretty well. And of course Thor. And then there was the Captain. Darcy had soon realised that, like Nat, Captain Rogers was partial to sweet, syrup flavoured coffee, and had proceeded to try out as many different types as she could lay her hands on. (Butterscotch lattes were his current favourite.) 

But today’s conversation and caffeine fix was just plain weird.

Clint was sitting on the worktop by the coffee machine, doing a crossword on his tablet computer. His presence was unexpected but not unwelcome. Nat was busy that day and the Science Bros were more in need of Red Bull and Pop-Tarts (yup, it was one of THOSE days) so Darcy was just making a beverage for herself.

‘Birds aren’t allowed to roost on the countertops. It’s unclean.’

‘Hey! I’m house trained!’ Clint snipped back as he hopped off the counter. ‘So how’s my favourite lab-rat?’

‘Do you know more than one?’

‘Erm, no... should I?’

‘No. But if you only know one, how can I be your favourite?’

‘If I only know one, how can you NOT be?’

‘Touché... OK, so I’m your favourite.’

‘Damn straight, short stack. And as such I am going to do you a huge favour.’

Darcy peered over the top of her glasses at him as she pulled a mug out of the cabinet and started arranging what she needed for her caramel macchiato. Barton was bouncing on his feet with nervous energy and rubbing his hands together. Whatever this favour was, he was totally over-excited about it. Darcy turned her back to him and keeping her voice light asked ‘And what might that be?’.

Clint waited until she was clear of scalding liquids and steam, mug safely on the counter before he slung an arm around her shoulder and said ‘Got ya a date for tonight, hot stuff.’

‘And what makes me such a charity case, Barton?’ Darcy was keeping her voice quiet, but she didn’t seem upset. 

Clint rested his hands on her shoulders and turned her gently to face him. ‘You think I don’t see, but you should know that that is one of the things I am best at. You’ve had a really shitty run with the dudes lately. And I want to see a big smile on your face. I wanted to do something nice for you, and I happen to know a very nice guy, total gent, who is probably going to be totally into you.’

Darcy kept her head down, refusing to meet his gaze.

‘You mad at me?’

Darcy really did snort this time. ‘You know a nice guy?’ She peered up at him, lips quirked up at the edges. ‘Finding it hard to believe... But no. I’m not mad. It’s really nice of you to try. So OK. I’ll go. Where, when, all that jazz...’

‘Well I promise he’s not a complete crazy stalker, and he’s not the type of guy to jump you, but he’s kinda private so he suggested dinner at his place.’ He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. ‘Here’s the address, but I’ll sort you out a ride for about 7. Just call me when you want picking up.’

Darcy checked the location – somewhere in Brooklyn. She didn’t know anyone at SHEILD or Stark who lived out that way. And she was a little sad because it meant her blind date was unlikely to be Steve – he lived in the Tower along with all the other Avengers. And she'd had REALLY wanted a date with Steve. But still, if Clint said the guy was solid, he had to be pretty good. And if he wasn’t, well, her taser was charged and ready.

‘Alright my Fairy Godmother. I will submit to your will.’ She leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek and headed off towards the elevator, drink in hand. As she pushed the button, she turned back to him and called his name.

‘Yeah, Darce?’

‘What’s the dress code?’

‘Go for classic and elegant. He’s a sucker for that stuff.’

Darcy nodded and gave him a salute. ‘Eye eye Sir!’ And she promptly vanished into the elevator.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Darcy stepped out of the black SHIELD car at the address in Brooklyn and checked the apartment number. According to the panel it was the top floor, so Darcy pushed the buzzer. The intercom crackled but no voice came over the line, the door merely opened for her.

‘Dude needs to look into a better entry system...’ 

But there was an elevator. Darcy pushed the button for the top floor and checked her hair and makeup in the mirror. Looking good. The dress she was wearing had a knee length swishy skirt, plenty of heavy fabric for twirling, a wide belt in deep red and a modest V-neck. Not trampy, but add on her bright red heels and she was the epitome of an hourglass figure. Her hair was pulled back from her face with a sparkly clip, but a few curls fell in wispy tendrils to frame her features. Very Botticelli. Classic, just like Barton said.

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Darcy took a deep breath and stepped out onto the landing. She heard gentle jazz music playing down the hall and saw soft light spilling from an open doorway. She headed towards it and checked the number on the open door. Yup, this was the place. 

She stepped through and gasped. A small table was set for two by the large windows and under the skylights, a large sofa was on the other side of the room with a drafting table set up in the corner. And as she turned to her left and took in the kitchen, well, she nearly wobbled on her kitten heels as her knees turned distinctly jelly-like.

‘Hey Darcy. I’m so glad you came.’

Steve stepped out of the kitchen in black dress pants and a blue pinstripe button down shirt, open at the neck with a t-shirt underneath. The sleeves were rolled back and he had a tea towel tucked in his belt as he walked towards her. Darcy’s mouth went dry and her heart beat a little faster.

‘Steve?’

‘Mmm hmm.’ Steve nodded, leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek. Never let it be said that he didn't have moves. ‘Can I take your coat? Get you a glass of wine maybe?’

Darcy nodded dumbly as Steve slipped her coat from her shoulders and walked behind her to hang it on a hook by the door, shutting it as he passed. He turned and looked at her, eyes wide as he appraised her outfit.

‘You look wonderful.’

Darcy ducked her chin and grinned. ‘You don’t scrub up too bad either.’

‘Not a bad surprise then?’ Steve seemed nervous as he stepped a little closer.

‘Not at all. Best surprise ever. Should have guessed really. The only gentleman Barton knows is you.’

‘That’s quite a compliment. Here, let me get you a glass of something. Dinner’s nearly ready.’

He poured two glasses of white wine and handed one to Darcy. They tapped the rims of their glasses together and Steve cocked his head to one side with a smile.

‘To first dates, Miss Lewis.’

‘To first dates, Captain Rogers.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dinner was over and had been followed by an equally delicious dessert. They retired to the sofa with coffee (Steve tried out spiced pumpkin syrup and it was proving a big hit all round). The conversation was relaxed and easy, and had flowed all evening. Steve had talked about his love of art, dogs and his motorcycle and Darcy had waxed lyrical over modern music, her time in college and her love of old movies. As they sat side by side on the sofa, Darcy kicked off her shoes and turned to face Steve, tucking her legs underneath her. He angled himself towards her and draped one arm over the back of the sofa.

Neither wanted the evening to end.

‘So Steve, this has been... well... really my best date ever. Really, really good. How did you know this is just what I’d like?’

‘I didn’t. I just figured you deserved to be treated like a lady. But at the same time I didn’t want to have to share you with everyone else. So really, it was kinda selfish too.’ He laughed a little at his awkward confession.

‘Well, top marks all round. Very impressed. Though I’m still a little confused by the venue.’ Darcy waved her hand around at the spacious but very Spartan apartment.

‘It’s my sanctuary. I come here to have time and space to just... be me... It’s peaceful. And the lightings good for my drawing.’

‘And you’d let me see this?’

‘Yes I would. I trust you.’ He leaned forward to take her coffee cup from her hand and put it next to his on the coffee table. ‘Plus, there is something I’ve been wanting to try...’

Darcy raised her eyebrows at him as he levered himself off the sofa and headed to one of the corners where a music system was situated. As he walked back towards her, Darcy made her voice low and husky.

‘Why Captain Rogers, are you trying to seduce me?’

Steve nearly stumbled over his own feet as he took in the sight of her on his sofa, relaxed, happy and completely breath-taking. ‘Thought had crossed my mind’ he muttered under his breath as he reached into his pocket for the stereo remote and pressed play. The gentle tones of a swing band came drifting through the speakers and he offered Darcy a hand.

‘Dance with me?’

Darcy placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her up.

‘Be warned, my experience of this is really limited.’

Darcy took his right hand and slid it round her back, her left hand resting lightly on his shoulder. She stepped closer into his embrace and adjusted her right hand to fit gently into his. As she tilted her head back to look at him she smiled. ‘Me too, Steve. We can just sway.’

And with that Steve was done for. Darcy’s head rested on his chest and he tucked their joined hands in close over his heart, swaying gently to the rhythm of the music. As he lowered his face to her hair to drop a kiss there he heard her breathe out on a whisper ‘Best. Date. Ever.’

And it really was.


	5. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession time...
> 
> Characters are Marvels, I'm just trying them out....

Steve had already decided that he was going to see Darcy home safe to the Tower. He called for a SHIELD car to pick them up and stacked the dishes in the washer whilst they waited, Darcy leaning on the counter and chattering away. When the buzzer rang he blew out the candles and retrieved her coat, turning out the lights as he went before taking her hand and locking up behind them. 

The ride back to the Tower was quiet, and Darcy leaned her head on his shoulder. As they pulled up to the front and Steve helped her out, he smiled down at her and said ‘Remind me to thank Barton tomorrow. I’ve not had such a good night in ages.’

Darcy smiled but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. She pulled him through the lobby and headed to the elevator to the residential floors. She dragged him in and as soon as the doors closed she instructed JARVIS to halt the rise of the vehicle.

By now, Steve was feeling more than a bit nervous. 

‘Darcy, what aren’t you telling me?’

She turned to face him, biting her lip.

‘Okay. Confession time. I know about Clint playing Cupid. With the whole 20 questions, hunting singletons down through the SHIELD database and vetting and everything. I know.’

‘You do?’

‘Uh huh. In fact, you might sorta say I... goaded him into it...’

Steve now looked completely confused. ‘Not sure I follow here.’

‘The first time I met him and Nat, they were making googly eyes at one another over coffee. That boy is so whipped he might as well BE the cream on Nat’s coffee. But Nat’s not really receptive. So I was kinda sounding her out. See if there was a chink in the armour. And I found it! She needs someone to take charge a bit, and go for a grand gesture. Or at least show that they can DO the grand gesture. Someone willing to put in the work for a friend.’

Pieces were starting to come together in Steve’s head and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. He thought that he was going to be played for a fool by Clint, but not by Darcy.

‘So Clint has now proven he’s capable of the grand gesture, you can report back to Nat and the two of them can ride off into the sunset? I was just a useful set piece?’ By this time Steve’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets.

‘No!’ Darcy took his left hand out of his pocket and laced her fingers through his. ‘The bad dates were all true. But when Nat and I were talking, well, I just made sure to be really honest about how I felt. What was going wrong. I hoped that Clint would be paying attention. And as I was monopolising so much of Natasha’s time, I hoped he would try and un-monopolise it. Preferably by setting me up with someone... with you...’

As Darcy glanced up at him she noticed the complete awestruck look on his face.

‘That’s really... Are you sure you aren’t an evil genius?’

Darcy sniffed as her eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh God no! I was so sure it was all going to backfire. You see, one of the guys who Clint grilled was Jed from legal. He’s a buddy and, well, he told me what had been going on with the questionnaires in the board room. And when he told me who was there, well, I was just resigned to the fact that Clint didn’t think you and I would hit it off. And I tried so hard to drop hints about my ideal man being, well, you really...’

She released his hand and looked down at her feet, scuffing her foot on the carpet.

‘But I get it if you aren’t cool with all of this. I just... when I saw it was you tonight, I just told myself to go with it. To live the dream. Even if it was only for a moment.’

She turned and faced the elevator doors and asked JARVIS to get them moving again. Her shoulders were hunched as she fiddled with her purse.

The doors opened and she stepped out, Steve following close behind her. He gently caught her elbow and turned her to face him. ‘I get it. I won’t say I’m completely happy with it but that is only because if you HAD ended up dating some guy from Legal, I’d have missed my shot... You could have just asked me Darcy...’

‘And you could have asked ME, Steve... You aren’t the only one who gets a bit tongue tied. I can put on a front, all sass and snark, but when it comes to the things I really want, I’m just a girl.’

‘A girl with a taser!’

‘A girl with a taser... hence why I tend to not do the asking... weeds out some of the duds straight off the bat...’

Steve cupped her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs along her cheeks. She smiled warmly and leaned into the contact, eyes fluttering closed.

‘So we’re good?’

Steve leaned down and brushed his nose against hers. ‘We’re good. So tell me Miss Lewis... At the end of the, I quote, best date ever’ (Darcy had the decency to blush, she knew he wouldn’t have missed that), ‘is a good night kiss appropriate?’

Darcy licked her lips and nodded slightly ‘Mmmhmm’.

Steve closed the gap and brushed his lips gently across hers, sure and sweet and full of promise. They pulled back from each other but rested their foreheads together content to just stay close.

And it was in this cosy and intimate position that Natasha found them, on her way to the kitchen.

‘What. The. Hell?’


	6. I'm a damn good shot myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter - the resolution!
> 
> How you've enjoyed it!
> 
> As per usual, all Marvels, not mine.

Darcy and Steve sprang away from each other hastily, aware of the heated glare that was aimed in their direction. Darcy glanced behind her at Nat tapping her foot, arms crossed across her chest. Damn she was intimidating.

‘I’ve got this Steve. We’ll talk tomorrow.’

His brow wrinkled a little at the thought of leaving her to the Widow’s wrath. ‘You sure Darce? I can stay?’

‘No, it’s all good. We’ll talk tomorrow.’ She leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips. ‘Still the best date ever.’

Steve grinned nodded at her. ‘Ok then. G’night Darcy.’ He nodded at Natasha. ‘Agent Romanov.’

‘Trust me Rogers, star spangled ass or not, I will kick it if I hear anything I don’t like about this little situation.’

Steve nodded gravely. ‘I would expect no less. But I’ll let Darcy fill you in on that. Good night.’ And with that he headed off to his quarters in the Tower.

Darcy turned and headed to the coffee machine, unprepared to have this conversation without their usual beverage of choice.

‘Don’t think the application of your suspiciously good barrista skills are going to get you out of this one, Lewis. I leave you alone for 24 hours and find you in a lip lock with... with....’

‘I know, Nat, I know.’

‘HOW did this happen? WHEN did this happen?’

And so Darcy sat Nat down, and told her the whole story.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

‘I DO NOT make googly eyes at Clint.’

‘You so do....’

‘I’m merely checking to see if he is in need of cognitive re-calibration again.’

‘Checking his vitals? Yeah, you are.’

‘Shut up.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

‘So all the bad dates really WERE that bad?’

‘Yup.’

‘You really suck at dating.’

‘Yup.’

‘I bet Clint was hanging out in the air ducts and spying.’

‘Yup. He is a super sneaky sniper like that. Which is why you love him...’

‘Yup... wait, no!’

‘That’s what I thought.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

‘He made them fill in dating profiles?’

‘They make for pretty good reading actually. Jed snuck me some photocopies before he sealed them up and left them for Clint to collect.’

‘Weird.’

‘He has missed his calling as a matchmaker... or a profiler for the CIA...’

‘I say it again. Weird.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

‘So Steve turned out to be your Blind Date?’

‘Yeah...’

‘And?’

‘I think you may have to share me Nat. Because that boy has moves.’

‘Well damn. OK then. But remember...’

‘You’ll kick his star spangled ass if he does me wrong. I know. You’re a good friend Natasha.’

‘The best.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

By the time the story was told, Natasha was a lot calmer. 

‘So now what?’

‘Now you know that Clint listens, and can figure out just what you need. Just talk to him. See where you end up.’

‘And what if I don’t know?’

‘Well, you could try one of those dating profiles, see what it turns up. I’ve got a blank one in my room.’

Natasha sighed and cocked her head to the side. ‘Let’s go Lewis.’

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Clint had a text from Steve the next day asking him for a meet up in the conference room at 11 to discuss the blind date. When he strolled in Steve wasn’t there, so he sat with his feet up on the table whistling his favourite Carrie Underwood tune. He stopped when Nat walked in with a cardboard folder tucked to her chest.

‘Nat! I was expecting Steve...’

‘Captain Rogers has been unavoidably detained, Agent Barton. You and I are going to have a little talk.’

Clint gulped and lowered his feet to the floor. ‘Nat, what’s going on?’

‘It has been brought to SHIELDS attention that you have been abusing your security clearance.’

‘What? No way Nat, that’s bull.’

Nat raised a hand to silence him. ‘And that you have been using the information to set up colleagues on blind dates.’ She paused. ‘Is this true, Agent Barton?’

‘Yes...’

Natasha’s posture remained rigid as she slid the folder over the desk to Clint. ‘Please read this.’

Clint opened the folder to find a copy of the dating profile he had given to Darcy’s potential suitors, but filled out in Natasha’s neat hand. He looked at her, completely at a loss as to where she had got it from. ‘Nat, I.... where did you...?’

‘Not important Agent Barton. Read it.’

Clint lowered his eyes to the page and read. And the more he read, the more he realised what Nat needed, what she wanted, what she was afraid of. What he was prepared to be for her if she would let him. He closed the folder and met her steady gaze. ‘OK. What now?’

‘Since your previous attempt at matchmaking has proven a complete success, I was hoping you could find someone suitable for me?’ Natasha’s posture had softened and she ducked her head slightly as she spoke. Clint thought she had never looked more beautiful.

He stood and walked around to her side of the table, swivelling her chair round a leaning over her, hands on the chair arms. A smirk crossed his lips.

‘I think I might know a guy.’ 

And with that he leaned in to kiss the woman he loved.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Outside the conference room door Steve gave Darcy a thumbs-up. She sagged in relief against the wall as Steve joined her and took her hand in his.

‘I still think you may be an evil genius, you know...’

‘Cupid may have a shot gun, but I’m a damn good shot myself,’ was Darcy’s reply as she leaned in to capture Steve’s smile with her lips.


End file.
